6 Sexual Abuse Myths Every Parent Needs to Know

Separating Myths From Facts Can Protect Your Child

According to statistics, 95% of sexual abuse cases can be prevented through education. Educating adults and children is by far the most effective approach to combatting sexual abuse in children and young people.

There are so many misconceptions regarding sexual abuse that can contribute to even the most well-meaning and attentive of parents letting their guard down unintentionally. It is crucial that parents are well-informed about sexual abuse so that they can protect their children and create a safe environment. Here are six common myths about sexual abuse that every parent needs to know:

1. Myth: Strangers are the main perpetrators of sexual abuse.

Reality: Contrary to this belief, most cases of sexual abuse are actually perpetrated by someone the child knows and trusts, such as a family member, friend, neighbor, or authority figure. It's essential for parents to teach their children about boundaries with all adults and to be aware of the signs of grooming.

93% of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser. Perhaps even more shocking is that 59% of child sexual abuse perpetrators are acquaintances, 34% are family members, and only 7% are strangers.

2. Myth: Sexual abuse is always violent and physically obvious.

Reality: Sexual abuse can take various forms and may not always involve physical force or visible injuries. In many cases, perpetrators use manipulation, coercion, threats, or emotional pressure to gain control over a child. This can make it challenging for children to recognize and disclose abuse.

3. Myth: Children who are sexually abused will always tell someone immediately.

Reality: In fact, the majority of children do not disclose sexual abuse right away. They will often feel scared, ashamed, or uncertain about how others will react. Some children may not even fully understand that what is happening to them is abuse. As a result, parents must create a supportive and open environment in which children feel safe to talk about their feelings and experiences.

According to Darkness to Light, it is estimated that around 73% of child sexual abuse victims do not mention the abuse for at least one year. Additionally, up to 45% of victims will not speak of the abuse for up to five years, with some never disclosing what happened. Although there are almost 80,000 reports of sexual abuse annually, the actual number that should be reported is far greater; sadly, countless victims will not speak up because they are afraid.

4. Myth: Boys are not victims of sexual abuse.

Reality: Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender. Boys can be as vulnerable as girls but may face additional barriers in reporting abuse due to societal expectations and stereotypes. Boys are so often brought up with the notion that they should be strong, that they should not talk about their feelings, that they should not cry, and ‘just get on with it’.

Parents should be aware of this and encourage open communication with their sons about their well-being and any difficulties they are facing. According to the National Institute of Health/Medline, estimates of women sexually abused during childhood range between 25 and 33%, with estimates between 10 and 16% for men - a significant number - not to be ignored.

5. Myth: Only "bad" or "negligent" parents have children who experience sexual abuse.

Reality: Sexual abuse can happen in any family, regardless of socio-economic status, race, or background. Children from the most loving and stable of families are still at risk of being sexually abused.

Perpetrators often exploit situations where parents and children trust them, making it essential for parents to be vigilant and educate their children about personal boundaries and safe/acceptable touch, as well as providing an accepting space for an open dialogue within the family.

6. Myth: Once a child is sexually abused, they are damaged for life.

Reality: Doubtlessly, victims typically struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, anger, and confusion, in addition to growing into adulthood with low self-esteem and a higher likelihood of experiencing depression and, sadly, suicidal thoughts or the desire to self-harm.

While sexual abuse can have severe and long-lasting impacts on a child's mental health and well-being, early intervention and support can significantly improve their healing process. With the right therapeutic intervention, love, and support, many survivors can go on to lead fulfilling lives and overcome the trauma of abuse.

According to statistics, 95% of sexual abuse cases can be prevented through education. Educating adults and children is by far the most effective approach to combatting sexual abuse in children and young people. Although discussing sexual abuse might be uncomfortable within a family, understanding and learning how to prevent it are paramount to risk reduction. Trees of Hope has successfully conducted highly well-received in-person and online prevention workshops, educating thousands over the past several years.

As parents, it's vital to educate ourselves about sexual abuse, have open conversations with our children, and stay vigilant to ensure their safety and well-being. If there are concerns or suspicions about abuse, it is essential to seek professional help and support for both the child and the family.

Trees of Hope offers an online prevention workshop for parents, caregivers, teachers, or anyone seeking to protect vulnerable individuals. Participants will learn about sexual abuse prevention and how to safeguard their loved ones better. The cost of the workshop is $25, which includes a physical copy of the Rise Magazine sent to online workshop registrants.

Find out more about Trees of Hope’s Prevention Education Workshop for parents.