The 6 Stages of Healing From Sexual Abuse
Healing from the aftermath of sexual abuse is a process. Much like healing from a physical injury, there are often various stages to the process. It is important to note that not all sexual abuse survivors experience every stage, and not always in this order, but these 6 stages are very common for sexual abuse survivors who have taken the brave decision to start their healing journey. Please remember that it's crucial to seek professional support and care throughout the healing process as a lot of painful feelings and memories will likely surface; it is a tough journey, but so worth the positive changes that survivors experience as they grow into thrivers.
Choosing to Heal: This stage involves recognizing the impact of sexual abuse on your life and making a dedicated commitment to healing. True healing only occurs when you actively choose to embrace the process and are open to change. If you find it difficult to acknowledge the abuse you've endured, you may not yet be ready for healing. Your time will come.
The Emergency Phase: Addressing repressed memories and emotions can create upheaval in your life, but it's important to remember that this turmoil is temporary. It's highly recommended to begin with a trauma-informed mental health counselor who can help you navigate this challenging phase and prevent you from giving up because it feels too painful. A robust support system is crucial for success in this stage.
Recollection: Many survivors have suppressed their memories of the abuse, especially if it took place during childhood. These memories may resurface in fragments. They serve as indicators that something traumatic occurred. Pain, anger, fear, and grief may emerge as the repressed memories are brought to the forefront. A key thing to keep in mind in this phase is that, when exploring these memories and seeking clarity from others, remember that their reactions are their own responsibility. The guilt for what happened lies solely with the abuser, regardless of others' opinions. Allowing these traumatic memories to resurface is an important part of being able to process them and move forward.
Accepting the Reality: Adult survivors often doubt their own perceptions and struggle with damaging false beliefs about their self-worth. These beliefs, such as self-blame, can erode self-esteem and wrongly assign responsibility. It's essential to reject these false beliefs, speak the truth to yourself, and reprogram your mind to accept the reality of the abuse, breaking free from these destructive thoughts. Focus on the truth of who God says you are and lean into His Word.
Breaking the Silence: Many survivors keep their childhood abuse secret, but sharing these experiences with someone can be a powerful healing force, dispelling the shame of victimhood. However, it's crucial to note that not everyone is comfortable sharing their stories publicly, and there should be no pressure to do so. This choice is a highly personal one on the journey toward healing.
Recognizing False Guilt: Children, and even some adults, mistakenly believe they are to blame for the abuse. Adult survivors must shift the blame entirely onto the abusers, recognizing they are solely responsible for their actions.
A trusted support system is crucial to stepping through the six stages of this healing process. Healing is a personal journey; each survivor may progress through these stages at their own pace. Trees of Hope offers resources for sexual abuse survivors. The popular Shelter Online course is available for those who want to step through a self-paced healing curriculum.
Trees of Hope has also partnered with Hope Christian Counseling to offer virtual or in-person 1-on-1 counseling sessions. Please note that our counseling services do have a cost associated with them; but at a discounted rate.
Check out our Not Just a Hashtag podcast episode 35 below to hear the podcast episode on this topic and consider joining one of our programs that feels right for you if you are ready to start your healing journey.
