How Surviving Sexual Abuse Affects Romantic Relationships

Sexual Abuse Has Lasting Affects

Childhood sexual abuse can shape an adult's worldview. Abuse causes betrayal, powerlessness, stigma, and future sexual overstimulization or dysfunction.

Surviving sexual abuse can profoundly impact a survivor's ability to establish and sustain close, affectionate connections, whether intimate or platonic. Survivors can face challenges, particularly in establishing close and trusting romantic connections. They may find that relationships serve as painful reminders of their past trauma and emotional barriers may hinder their ability to discuss the abuse with their partners openly. It's important to note that the effects can vary from person to person, and not everyone who has experienced sexual abuse will experience the same challenges. 

Here are some of the ways in which surviving sexual abuse may affect romantic relationships:

1. Trust Issues: Survivors of sexual abuse may struggle with trust, as their sense of safety and boundaries may have been violated. This can make it difficult for them to trust a partner and feel secure in a relationship. Sexual assault constitutes a breach of trust. Many survivors encounter challenges in trusting both others and even their own judgments. Conversely, they might exhibit excessive trust in everyone, sometimes placing trust inappropriately. Many survivors need support developing and practicing healthy boundaries. 

2. Intimacy Challenges: Sexual abuse can create challenges around intimacy and sexual relationships. Survivors may experience difficulty with physical closeness and intimacy and may struggle with issues related to body image. Survivors can experience shame and think they are dirty or permanently damaged because of the abuse. Group or individual counseling can help survivors replace negative, shame-filled thoughts with more constructive ones. 

3. Emotional Challenges: Survivors may grapple with intense emotions, including guilt, fear, and anxiety. These emotions can affect how they relate to a partner and may lead to communication and emotional connection challenges. Sexual abuse can deeply impact one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Survivors may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and a sense that they are unworthy of love. They can feel overwhelmed by their emotions, especially when they have no one to talk to and no way of expressing their feelings in a safe environment. 

4. Flashbacks and Triggers: Survivors may experience flashbacks or be triggered by certain situations, words, or actions that remind them of the traumatic event. A trigger activates a memory, transporting the individual back to the original trauma event and eliciting overwhelming emotions, physical symptoms, or thoughts. In response to this trigger, a survivor may experience intense emotions comparable to the time of the initial trauma. This can create challenges in day-to-day interactions and may lead to difficulty maintaining a stable relationship. 

5. Avoidance and Withdrawal: Some survivors may cope with the trauma by withdrawing from relationships or avoiding intimacy altogether. They may fear vulnerability and closeness, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining romantic connections. Survivors may avoid sexual intimacy altogether. This could be due to fear and mistrust or because sexual contact is physically and emotionally painful.

6. Difficulty Communicating Needs: Expressing needs and setting boundaries can be challenging for survivors of sexual abuse. They may struggle to communicate their desires, fears, and concerns effectively, which can impact the relationship's overall health. Survivors can often minimize the assault as a coping strategy. By invalidating the impact of the abuse, they may also invalidate their own needs and desires in the process. 

7. Find Hope and Resources: It's important to recognize that healing from sexual abuse is a complex and ongoing process. Patience, empathy, and open communication are essential for both partners in building and maintaining a healthy and supportive relationship in the aftermath of sexual abuse. 

Support from groups and mental health professionals specializing in trauma can be crucial in helping survivors navigate the challenges that may arise in their romantic relationships. Trees of Hope provides a secure and compassionate group setting, serving as an initial step on your path to healing. A supportive community, acknowledgment, and education about trauma's effects play a crucial role in the healing process. Shelter groups create a supportive space where women can share their experiences without the fear of judgment. Explore more about our upcoming Healing Groups in South Florida and Melbourne, and Orlando. For those outside these regions, Shelter Online is also available.

For survivors of sexual abuse, trauma-informed therapy is essential for addressing and managing mental health challenges. Trees of Hope has collaborated with Hope Christian Counseling to offer virtual or in-person one-on-one counseling sessions. 

*Please note that our counseling services have a cost associated with them but at a discounted rate.