Healing in His Love: Reclaiming Worth After Brokenness Part 1
Crowned With Worth
Christ-centered self-respect isn’t indulgence—it’s dignity. It’s living in the truth that we are made in God’s image, redeemed by Christ, and crowned with worth no one can take away.
Dear Reader, let me start this blog by being vulnerable with you. I wrote this after a week of self-loathing. Honestly, I’ve struggled to feel comfortable in my own skin. Shame has been whispering in my ear, pointing out my gray hairs, my weight, and all my flaws. I’m not writing this because I’ve figured it out; I’m writing this because I’m still figuring it out. And you, dear survivor, are reading my raw thoughts—thank you for being here with me.
Even though I know I'm deeply loved by God, I often feel unlovable. But I have to remind myself that feelings aren't facts. God’s Word says I'm loved. So why is it so hard for me to believe it about myself? Am I accusing God of being wrong? Never! The real question then becomes: how do I live with a healthy, God-centered view of myself?
The phrase “self-love” doesn’t sit well with many in the church, maybe because it feels too much like the world’s version—hashtags, bumper stickers, indulgent shopping sprees, or temporary highs. Survivors especially know that no amount of “treat yourself” moments can heal wounds of shame, abuse, or trauma. The world’s version is empty and fleeting.
But biblically grounded self-respect (or Christ-centered self-care) is different. It isn’t about indulgence—it’s about dignity. It’s about accepting and living a life in the truth that we are made in the image of God, redeemed by Christ, and given worth that no one can take away.
A common objection from the church to the concept of “self-love” comes from Matthew 16:24, where Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” No one on that day viewed this as symbolic language. It was a straightforward statement by our Lord. It meant one would have to be willing to die for Jesus. He knew severe persecution was coming for His Church. He is calling us to die for our faith if need be. And yes, more broadly, this is a call to die to our flesh, which is our sinful nature, selfish ambition, and the idols of the world. But it is not a call to mistreat ourselves, to live in shame, or to keep replaying the abuse done to us. To confuse those things is to misunderstand Jesus’ heart.
For those raised in homes where encouragement and love were freely given, self-respect may feel natural. But for survivors, especially those who grew up with constant criticism, mistrust, and abuse, it feels foreign. To us, the very idea of treating ourselves kindly feels like climbing a mountain. Yet here is the truth: God has crowned us with dignity. We are His beloved. This isn’t just a feeling—it’s a fact.
Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV):
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Notice how Jesus ties loving others directly to loving ourselves. If I despise myself, how can I fully love my neighbor? If I treat myself with dignity rooted in Christ, I can then extend that same compassion outward.
If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to explore our Shelter healing study for women—a safe space to delve deeper into God’s truth about identity, healing, and freedom. And keep checking out our prevention and healing blogs, where we cover the complex but necessary topics such as forgiveness, hope, dysfunctional families, and protecting our loved ones from sexual abuse.
How has your past experience shaped the way you see yourself today?
What would it look like to practice “Christ-centered self-respect” in your healing journey this week?
Dear Lord, I have struggled with treating myself with the value and dignity You have given to me. Please forgive me. When I walk around criticizing every imperfection and replaying every setback, I fall right into the enemy’s destructive trap. I don’t want to live this way anymore. Please help me to love myself the way I’m supposed to love my neighbor in Jesus' Name, Amen.
