It Started With a Knock: A Man’s First Step Toward Healing
He Carried the Pain for Years
It became a war within him that he carried for years, unable to shake its weight or its impact
He knocked on my office door at the time of our session and quietly asked if he was in the right place. I stood, extended my hand, and welcomed him in.
We sat down together. He gave very little eye contact at first and began the conversation by saying, “My therapist recommended I come sit with you. She said you have a similar story to mine, and I have never told my story to another man.”
As we settled into our chairs, I simply said, “I would be honored to hear your story.”
With hesitation in his voice, he began sharing pieces of his life.
“I was sexually abused by fifteen different individuals before I turned sixteen. When I was sixteen, my mother drove me to a homeless shelter because her live-in boyfriend was fed up with me after I ate his meatloaf sandwich.”
Tears filled his eyes as he said, “I have been through a war, and I can’t shake this off of me.”
We sat in silence after his words, almost as if we were holding the weight of them together between us.
Silence can become a gift when words rush to fix what a heart is still trying to process.
Why Go Through Healing?
We pursue healing for many different reasons, and every survivor eventually has to answer that question personally.
For my client, he was simply tired. Tired of carrying the internal war that had raged within him for years. Somewhere deep inside, he was beginning to believe that God intended more for his life and that maybe God truly loved him.
For me, my reason was desperate: What do I have to lose?
After walking through so much pain and trauma, pursuing healing had to be better than continuing to live buried beneath the weight of it all.
What he was carrying wasn’t just pain—it was a distorted view of who he was. We are known by God in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13–14). God created each of us with purpose and intent long before we understood ourselves (Ephesians 1:4). Yet from the moment we enter this broken world, trauma, abuse, painful experiences, and harmful words begin shaping how we see ourselves. We slowly begin believing lies about who we are and living according to those lies instead of the truth God speaks over us.
Healing is the process of learning God’s intent and truth for our lives.
This journey starts by receiving what Christ accomplished for us through His death and resurrection. As the wounds that once defined us begin to heal, we learn to live in the promises of Christ, moving toward being made whole.
It is both beautiful and difficult as God transforms us from the inside out.
We Can Find Hope and Healing
After listening to my client for about an hour, tears continued to come as he shared pieces of his story. Again and again, he said he believed God was healing him and would continue to heal him.
He also admitted he felt relieved that he was finally able to share his story with a man without experiencing shame.
I reassured him that we had walked similar roads while following the same Jesus.
He smiled.
As our session came to an end, I asked him how he would like to close our time together.
“Would you read Psalm 23?”
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along the right paths…
With tears, he said, “This is all I want!”
This Is Why We Go Through Healing
Here at Trees of Hope, you are not walking this journey alone. You are stepping into a community of fellow survivors who understand the weight of pain, the courage it takes to heal, and the hope that can rise again. We hear you, we see you, and we know that true and lasting healing is not found in stuffing memories and pain away, but in bringing our wounds to Christ and walking through them with others.
The Renew study offers compassionate, intentional care as we pursue healing together. Whether you are ready to step into a group or begin more privately, there is a place for you.
If even a small part of this story stirs something in you, if it awakens a question, a longing, or a glimpse of hope for healing, consider this your invitation to take the next step.
You can explore our upcoming Renew Virtual healing studies and join a group of men walking this journey together.
Or, if you prefer to begin at your own pace, you can start Renew Online and access the teaching and tools from wherever you are.
Healing begins when we risk believing that our story is not over and that redemption is near.
Knock, and the door will be opened to you.
Lord, for my brothers who are contemplating the courage to step toward healing, I pray You would give them just enough strength to knock on Your door and take the next best step as their story begins to heal.
In Christ’s name I pray,
Amen.
